


Yvaine: The Evening Star

by StoryWeaver9285



Series: Yvaine: The Evening Star [1]
Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Azriel - Freeform, AzrielxOC - Freeform, F/F, F/M, M/M, POV Azriel (ACoTaR), Romance, Sister - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:48:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25676095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StoryWeaver9285/pseuds/StoryWeaver9285
Summary: Yvaine had lost track of the years, how long had it been since she saw her city of starlight or seen the night sky during Starfall? 200 years maybe? The young princess has just turned 83, barely into maturity when she was taken prisoner and locked under Rose Hall. Betrayal and Rage boiled under her skin, even after all these years. This princess named for the evening star had been trapped under the Spring Court estate for too long and had neared the edge of her sanity more than once. The one thing that had kept her sane was the promise she made her mother when she died, to go home and return with her brother and raze this damned court to the ground. This she had promised her mother after they'd ripped the wings from her back as a trophy and sent her head down the river to the Illyrian camp where her brother waited for them.With this promise and the longing to reunite with her family, Yvaine holds onto herself, and it gets a little easier when a young human returns to Spring, holding a piece of familiar power. She would find a friend in the girl and Ferye would find a sister in the Night Princess, but would she truly be free or would she stay trapped in spring forever?
Relationships: Azriel (ACoTaR)/Original Character(s), Elain Archeron & Lucien Vanserra, Feyre Archeron/Rhysand, Nesta Archeron/Cassian, Tamlin (ACoTaR)/Original Character(s)
Series: Yvaine: The Evening Star [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1861789
Comments: 1
Kudos: 29





	1. Prologue

Darkness's sweet embrace calmed my senses, a nightmare just a nightmare. That's all it ever was, he hadn't touched Azriel, Mor, Cassian, or my brother, only my mother, and me. The High Lord of the spring court, my best friend's father had ripped the wings from her back as I watched wrapped in strange blue shackles and dosed with fae-bane. Tamlin behind me watching silently as they were slaughtered. How naive I'd been to think a daughter of the night could be the friends with a spring prince. 

Alone in my cell stripped of all my magic, I could do little except hone my mind and body. I'd only just turned 80 when I was taken, Tamlin taking pity and afforded me some comforts before forgetting me below Rose hall, trapped and alone.

My cell contained little, save for a bed, candles, a few sketchbooks, and a shelf of books Tamlin had given me after he realized my father and brother truly thought me dead for they did not find me when they raided rose hall. I had spent the first few years sure that my brother and friends would find me but the binding had been too great, even after the power transferred to Tamlin. After 50 years I'd settled and focused on the physical skills my mother had insisted my brother and I hone. She hadn't wanted us to rely on our magic for obvious reasons.

Tamlin had either put me out of his mind or forgotten me completely because he no longer came to torment, had not in nearly a century. The only faces I saw were those of one servant, a kind woman named Alis. She'd taken care to spend time with me when I was younger, she told me of her family in Summer Court, what happened during the war, and the curse Amarantha had put on Spring. She also told me of the human girl who had come across the wall, a timid little thing with a fire in her eyes. She loved painting and it had me diving back into my old sketchbooks, they were full of portraits and landscapes from my family to the night sky on Starfall. I'd sensed my brother in the court several times since the human had come and I had cried when Alis told me he'd been here, in this house, and I could not go to him. 

No Tamlin had made sure of that and Alis stayed with me, she stayed while Feyre went under the mountain to Amarantha's court, she stayed when Tamlin returned with her - now Fae and hold a piece of the power I'd missed.

Soon, soon she would feel me, and then I would be free, of that I was certain. After all, like calls to like and my power had grown beyond these Hybern chains.


	2. Found

Candles burned bright as I sat against the wall behind my bed and drew in my sketchbook, Alis's familiar steps echoing down the hall. I looked up as she entered my 'room' and I smiled softly. My long dark hair was tied back in its usual two braids, wings rested gently at my sides, my tunic and pants covered in charcoal which had a small frown on Alis's face but a soft smile soon replaced it.

"Here's your Lunch, Yvaine." She set a tray on the small bedside table and sat in a small chair she'd brought down with her long ago for our small chats. Alis settled into the chair and I set my book down and stretched out, the tips of my wings brushing the walls. I watched Alis's eyes look back towards the stairs and I simply waited for her to start talking as I started eating. "She's begun to feel your power, to feel you. She's curious and will find you soon enough If I don't send her down myself." Alis picked up a piece of fruit from my plait and I watched her, a smile on my face.

"I might not be able to use it at all but my magic has grown more than I thought if she's really sensing it." I hummed to myself and slipped a grape in my mouth. "With Ianthe watching her all the time and Tamlin hunting the grounds all-day long I think sending her my way might be the only way she ends up here without someone following." I popped another grape in my mouth and Alis nodded. 

"Remind me again why I cannot just free you and send you home? I fell as though I've been a poor adult figure by leaving you here for all these years." She hummed to herself and I smiled softly, Alis had become a dear friend and confidante over the years and had made many attempts to help me escape, each I had refused, knowing the state of Prythian my return would worsen things if I left sooner than I should.

"I would have taken you up on that offer but with Feyre here, I need her to trust me and the only way to do that is for her to free me herself. Some parts of her will recognize me whether she acknowledges it consciously or not," I hugged my legs to my chest and rested my chin on my knees. "If what you're telling me is true then Feyre won't last long here in Spring without more allies and I can be that for her. I'll help her navigate the court and she'll help me get home. After all this time in these chains, it'll take time before my body can get rid of the faebane." I sighed and closed my eyes, resting my head against the wall. "I'm so tired Alis... I, I want to go home," A tear streaked down my cheek and Alis moved to sit on the bed, wrapping her arms around me, careful not to touch my wings. She held me tightly and I hugged her back, letting out a small sob. I'd not cried like this in a while and it felt good to let my frustration and sadness out.

"I will send her your way tonight after Tamlin leaves for his night patrol. She'll not fall asleep again after he leaves." She said and pressed a kiss to my forehead. I reached for my sketchbook and carefully removed a page, it was a picture of the Illyrian mountains and the evening star I'd been named for. I folded it gently and handed it to Alis, she'd been leaving my drawings for Feyre in secret. It was something small to try to show her the beauty that her nightmares tried to erase. 

I watched Alis retreat back down the hallway with our empty plates and I laid back on my bed, wrapping my wings around me. Might as well get some sleep, this was going to be a long night.

~ * ~

I woke up to the sound of footsteps far up the passage. I yawned and stretched out my wings, staying seated against the wall. The footsteps were light, not like Alis, and the scent was fresh like... lavender and pear trees in spring but laced with the grassy scent of Tamlin. This was Feyre, the little huntress that I had been so eager to meet. I saw the light of the candle she held and heard the door to my cell swing open.

"Hello?" I heard her call, her voice was tired but laced in curiosity.

"Hello Feyre, little huntress, you have nothing to fear from me, Feyre Cursebreaker. I couldn't hurt you if I tried." I replied and she shuffled towards the doorway of my room. She peaked her head in and her eyes ran over me. I was sat against the wall, my knees curled into my chest to make me smaller and less threatening. My wings rested lightly beside me, unmoving as she entered the room, surveying my sparse belongings.

"How do you know me?" She asked, her voice quiet and I motioned for her to sit in the chair against the far wall. I watched her every move, knowing full well she was doing the same to me.

"I've been here a long time Feyre, one hears things." She cocked her head to the side and I smiled softly, "It also helps that Alis and I are quite close friends. She's the only face I've seen in the 200 or so years I've been here, now you are the second." I studied her face, watching carefully for any signs that she might run.

"Alis told you about me?" I nodded and noticed how her eyes kept going back to my wings, my eyes, and the black swirls on my forearm. Much like her own tattoo but not as large my tattoo stretched from my wrist to just below my elbow and it was a symbol of my position. More tattoos stretched the span of my back from my early years in the Illyrian camps when my brother and friends had sworn vows to one another.

"Alis tells me a great many things, she is my only connection to the outside world and has been the one keeping me sane these past centuries," I said, brushing a strand of hair from my eyes. "You have many questions Feyre, ask them and I will answer as much as I can." Her eyes widened at my response but nodded slowly, looking at my wings first.

"What kind of Fae are you? Where are you from? What's your name? Why are you here?" Questions spilled from her and I smiled softly, nodding before beginning to answer.

"My name is Yvaine, my friends called me Evie. I was born in the far north of Prythian, in the night court. My father was High Fae like you, my mother was a race of Fae known as Illyrians that is where I got my wings. They live int he Illyrian mountains in the north of the night court. As for why I'm here..." I frowned and shook my head. "I was taken prisoner when I was 83, at the start of the war many years before you were born. I was imprisoned here by the High Lord of Spring and his three sons in order to hurt my family and my court." I took a deep breath and looked up from the floor, meeting her eyes.

"How much do you know about what happened in the last 50 years?" She asked, referring to Amarantha's rule and I smiled sadly.

"I know more than I care to, I know Rhysand is High Lord and Tarquin has taken over for his cousin after he was killed. I know about the curse that you broke, the trials you fought, your death, your rebirth. I know you are plagued by nightmares as I am, and I know Tamlin does not come to your side when you are wrenching in the godless hours of the night," She stiffened at my words and I reached out a hand to her. "I know that you are broken, but healing. The drawings I send do little but I wanted to show you that it is still good in the world, still light where you believe to be only darkness." I said softly and she took my hand, I squeezed softly and she eyed the blue chains that sat on my wrists and ankles.

"You are the one who sent these?" She pulled out the drawing I had sent with Alis at the beginning, it was of the Sidra, the river that ran through Velaris. I nodded and held my sketchbook to my chest.

"Laying my memories to paper was the only way to make sure I never forgot where I came from, who I loved, and what I have lost." A tear slipped down my cheek and Feyre moved to sit beside me, careful not to touch my wings. "I wish to return to the place in that picture, to walk among my people... to fly again." More tears fell and my wings felt heavier than they had in a while. Feyre hugged me and I hugged her back, resting my head on her shoulder.

"Can I help you?" She asked and I met her eyes, she knew what it was to be locked away, now more than ever. I smiled softly and held out my hands. She nodded and pulled out a key, the one I had told Alis to slip into her pocket. She unlocked the chains and I almost choked. My skin had long scarred over but I felt light and tears started to pour from my eyes.

"Thank you, thank you so much little one. You have no idea how grateful I am," She smiled softly and I looked at the doot.

"Will you leave tonight?" She asked and I shook my head.

"No, I need time to let the Faebane leave my system. I could fly but It would take me a long time and I don't know how far I'd get since I haven't flown in so long." She nodded and looked to the door. "If I may I would ask that you not tell anyone that I am here. Tamlin may have forgotten I was here but if he sees me he will not hesitate to throw me back." Feyre nodded and together we made our way back to her room without being detected. We still had several hours before sunrise so she helped me into a bath and I scrubbed myself clean It was kind of awkward because the bath was not made for Illyrian wings but I was clean soon enough. I sighed and let the remaining warm water soothe my muscles, my wings draped over the sides of the tub. I felt Feyre's eyes on my back and I met her gaze.

"How?" She asked quietly, almost afraid of my reaction. I reached behind me and felt along some of the larger scars, the largest was a jagged line between my wings.

"When I was brought here I had already been beaten bloody by the spring princes," my voice darkened and I tried my best not to snarl at the memory. "The High Lord of Autumn was here on request of Tamlin's father to extract whatever information they thought they could get from me. Much to their chagrin, I yielded nothing and these scars were the price. If they'd been smart they would have tried to cut off my wings but they left them intact." I huffed and splashed some water on my face. "In order to bind my power, they each had to give a piece of their own power, and unfortunately for them, it worked too well. Much like you, I gained the powers of their courts not that I've been able to use them with those chains on. Even at my age, I'd been stronger than they expected but not strong enough to stop them from slaughtering my mother and not strong enough to escape before they bound me." I stood from the bath and took the towel she handed me, wrapping it around my body and another I used to dry my long hair, it hung around my hip now and it was in need of a cut soon.

"Yvaine, here's a nightgown. I hope it fits." I took the smooth purple cloth from her and slipped it over my head. It was a bit tight but nothing I couldn't work with. "I don't know if Tam will come back tonight or-" I shook my head and looked out the window and out into the garden that was washed in moonlight.

"The High Lord will not return to your bed tonight, little hunter. He will undoubtedly patrol the boarders until dawn and then into the afternoon. I wish to speak to you, and I know you do not trust me completely. I promise that I will explain everything in time." She nodded and looked longingly at her bed. I grasped her hand and met her eyes. "Feyre I need you to swear to me you will tell no one of my presence or reveal any secret I may tell you, in exchange, I will swear to protect you from anyone who would wish you harm. Do you swear it?" She met my eyes and nodded a seriousness and understanding forming in her eyes.

"I swear it," With her words quiet and clipped the symbol of our bargain was inked on the nape of her neck, three stars. I smiled softly and led her to the bed, tucking her in gently before laying beside her, propped against the headboard.

"Sleep Feyre, I will keep the nightmares at bay," I brushed her hair from her face and her eyelids began to flutter closed. I kissed the top of her head and smiled. "Dream of my stars and my beautiful night, a dream of better times," I whispered and she fell into a deep sleep. She snuggled into my arms and I fell into a deep sleep beside her, finally able to close my eyes under the stars I had missed.


	3. Spring Court

My eyes fluttered open and I relaxed when I remembered where I was and what had happened. Feyre was still sleeping soundly, the sun barely over the rolling hills of the Spring Court. If there was one thing I didn't hate about this place it had to be the scenery, but nothing compared to my city of starlight. Velaris was my home and my heart ached to return, to take my twin and friends into my embrace. I reached back and twirled a strand of hair around my finger, turning back to look at Feyre's sleeping from and was met with Alis, quietly closing the door behind her.

"You were successful then? You look better, I assume that's to do with the chains being off." Alis sat at Feyre's window and I nodded, sitting beside her.

"My magic is beginning to return, Feyre asked if I was leaving last night but I knew I would not make it far." I frowned, draping my wings forward over my shoulders. I ran my hands across the smooth membranous wings, I'd kept them strong as much as I could but flying and strength training was different. "What's she doing today? After everything I told her yesterday, I feel like, no I know she's going to have more questions. I'm not sure I'm ready to answer all of them yet though," I watched Feyre grow increasingly restless as she began to wake and Alis sighed.

"Today will not be an easy one, no matter how much she wishes to help. The visit to the villages will not be an easy one for her." I nodded and looked outside where some semblance of a guard was preparing with red-haired Lucien. "Come on youngling, it's time to wake. The sun is rising and we've got to prepare you for your journey." She stirred and shot up suddenly searching the room until her eyes landed on me.

"Yvaine... you're real." I nodded and brushed a finger along her cheek gently, sitting beside her as she leaned into my side. 

"I will explain everything later but for now like Alis said we need to get you ready for your journey to the villages. I'm afraid I cannot go with you today, but I will be here when you return." Feyre frowned but nodded and let Alis help her into the riding dress and boots she'd laid out for her.

"Couldn't you glamour yourself?" I chuckled softly at the comment and shrugged my shoulders.

"I could but it would take up a lot of energy, and energy that I don't have just yet. I need another day or so before I'll be back to my old self. However I can do something more permanent than glamour, and that is how I will be getting around Spring Court while I am still here." I felt the change come over me as I shrunk so I'd come to Feyra's rib cage and my long dark curls changed to a dusky auburn. My violet eyes cleared to forest green and I smiled to myself. "Now I truly look the part of a Spring court Fae." Alice stared at me awestruck and I grinned like a fox, Feyre had almost the same expression. I'd taken the form closely related to a nymph, a crown of flower petals adorned my head and flower petals stuck to strands of my hair. My gown changed to a green tule dress that ended above my knee with embroidered flowers around the wrist and shoulder. "I'll always take this form so you'll always know me. Call me Kelby as if you've always known the little fae that came from where the spring flows." Feyre smiled softly and brushed a strand of my hair across my shoulder.

"I didn't know Night Court Fae had the ability to change their shape," Alis spoke softly, almost awestruck. I spun around, my curls bouncing against my back and dress.

"I told you long ago how I was bound by the High Lord of Spring, and in order to do so, he had to give up a small part of himself, not unlike the way Feyre was reborn as Fae. I would guess that sooner or later you will be able to tap into your abilities, given the proper training. You could be more powerful than Tamlin, I think you are now but gaining access to your powers will give you an edge in any fight you may be caught in." She grimaced but I held her hand and she smiled down at me.

"Feyre, it's time if you still wish to go with Lucien." She nodded and looked back at me, her eyes filled with concern.

"You've nothing to worry about, little hunter. I will be here when you return and we will talk more." She nodded and left with Alis. I sat on the window sill, tucking my legs under me, and watched as she mounted her mare and looked back at me. I smiled and reached out to her mind down the bond that our bargain had created.

"Good Luck, little hunter; I'll be waiting for you when you return." She nodded and Lucien turned to see what she was looking at and met my gaze. My smile dropped and I glared at him, causing a look of confusion and concern to flash across his face. I bared my teeth and his hand settled on his sword before Feyre drew his attention by starting off. By the time he looked back, I was already halfway down the stairs heading towards Feyre's old painting room. I slipped in quietly and walked among the mix of finished and unfinished paintings. All of them were beautifully crafted though some lacked heart, the paintings she did just before Tamlin forced her to return home, and just before she went under the mountain. I spotted a stack of sketching paper and I smiled softly before gathering up the necessary supplies. I sat in the window seat and looked out towards the mountains, far in the distance. I longed to return home, to reunite with my family and friends.

A tear dripped down my cheek as I thought of the four Fae that awaited me once the time was right. If I left now they would never let me out of their sight again and I would not let Feyre suffer alone, even if it cost me a few more weeks away from my family.

I looked down at the paper and smiled at the picture I'd unconsciously drawn. My brothers, Amren, and cousin all smiled back at me, Mor's eyes full of as much mischief as I remembered. I looked back to the mountains and again at the paper. I might not be able to leave just yet but I could send word home, send word to the one person I knew would keep my secret, and not disobey my request to stay put, Amren. I turned the drawing over and wrote my letter, keeping it short enough but letting Amren know what happened and what was happening. A tear dripped onto the paper before I drew my seal, a moon lily, and folded it into the shape of a bird.

"Amren," I whispered, reaching out down the Familial bond we had formed over the years and the paper disappeared. With any luck, it would be sitting on her desk at the townhouse and she would know what to do. We'd prepared collateral plans should anyone of us go missing and this was mine. It wasn't long before a paper bird appeared in my lap and the familiar silver seal drawn into its side told me my plan had worked.

"Yvaine,I've missed you little one, you were wise to send word to me before the others. I fear that you were right and your brother would have destroyed the entirety of Spring if you'd sent word that you were still alive. I have many questions as you would expect, though I know well enough they might not be answered before you return to us. I know very little of the girl you have taken into your care other than what Rhysand has told me. In truth, I do not know yet what bond outside of their bargain that they possess but it could be a mate bond-

I stopped reading and felt my heart skip a beat. Perhaps this was the bond I'd felt with her when she first crossed back into spring after being remade.

"-I know this will come as a shock, but perhaps this will give you more insight when teaching her. Everyone misses you Astra, the anniversary of your death is coming up and it being the same day as the wedding to the Spring Lord he has plans to go to the cabin and wallow with Cassien in pity and drink. Azriel has not been the same since you left and even we do not know where he goes on these nights, but he comes back more silent than the last year. When you do return to us, perhaps the court will once again thrive as it did before the war, and you will bring anew life back to this little circle of ours. I do however wish for you to bring me something from the spring court when you return, a little piece I may gloat over and enjoy from that green bitch."

I popped open the window and let the letter burn up in my hand the ash and smoke floating away. I hopped off the bench and slipped back out and down towards the entry hall. I sat on the marble steps that led into Rose Hall to wait for Feyre. I saw her horse break the tree line alongside Lucien and their guard. I stood and made my way towards her, holding her mare while she dismounted. 

"Welcome home, my Lady." Feyre smiled at me softly as I handed off her horse to one of the guards and stood by her side.

"Feyre, who is this? I've never seen her around the house before." Lucien eyed me with caution and I smiled sweetly, bowing my head. 

"My name is Kelby, prince of autumn. I've only just joined Alis in Lady Feyre's service." He watched me closely before looking back at Feyre.

"Nymphs aren't to be trusted lightly, no Fae should be trusted lightly. I thought you of all people would've figured that out, and you little nymph can excuse yourself from her service." He growled lowly at me and Feyre touched my shoulder before taking my hand.

"She'll not be excused and I can take care of myself, Lucien, as it seems you've all forgotten the fact that I survived worse than a little nymph." She hissed and I scowled at Lucien before following Feyre to her room. We sat by the window and I changed back, shaking out my body sore from the change. We watched out the window as guests began to arrive for the wedding. In just a few days Feyre would be bound to Spring, but with the new knowledge that my brother may be her mate, I had newfound hate for the High Lord. I move behind her and she sighed, resting against my chest.

"This is to be the event of the year, your marriage to Lord Tamlin," I said, gently taking out the intricate braid Alis had put it in this morning. 

"So I've heard, Ianthe seems to be more excited about it than I am. I'll be ready for this all to be over." I smiled softly and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

Over the next several days I spent most of my time in the form of a nymph, constantly by Feyre's side to reassure her and to keep Ianthe at a distance. Tamlin paid little attention to my presence, it was Ianthe who's a curiosity I had to sate and it was no easy task. I'd almost killed her on multiple occasions but Feyre's attachment to her had stopped me, no matter what horrible things I knew she had done. Ianthe had become a crutch and one I was desperately trying to separate Feyre from. I'd dealt with more of Feyre's nightmares in the past few days than should be possible but today would be the biggest nightmare of them all. Alis and I had spent the morning preparing and pampering her, making sure this would be as pleasant as possible.

"Feyre, must I put you in this... dare I call it a dress?" I held it out and Alis tried to stifle a snicker. Feyre poked her head out of the bathing room and narrowed her eyes at the white thing that I held.

"That's the one thing I wish I'd paid attention to during this whole thing," She glared at it and I tossed it onto the bed, patting the cushion of a chair in front of her vanity. I brushed through her hair and began twisting different pieces together and placing diamond pins to hold the intricate design in place. I pulled a few strands forward to frame her face and took the small iron rod from the fire and carefully curled the small pieces. "Ianthe picked it out..." I nodded and tapped the tip of her nose, causing a small smile to form on her lips.

"Perhaps if we get the chance for another wedding, I will design the dress and make sure you look ravishing." I pressed a kiss to her forehead and my ears twitched to the sound of footsteps in the hall. I sensed another presence coming towards Feyre's room... Ianthe. If I wasn't careful I'd be discovered and I wasn't ready for my cover to be blown just yet. I felt the change come over me and I flitted around Feyre continuing to prepare for the ceremony.

"You know I don't think I'll ever get used to that," Alis whispered to Feyre and I giggled lightly, tying the bow at the back of her dress as a knock was heard at the door.

"Feyre, I've brought you gloves." Ianthe spirited into the room presenting the box and I took it from her hands, placing it on the bed. Ianthe ignored Alis and I as we continued to prepare Feyre and put in the last few touches to her look and outfit. "I'll leave the rest to you two then, good luck Feyre." Ianthe patted her cheek and I almost bit her off her hand. I didn't know how much of this I'd be able to handle. With my magic basically returned to full strength I looked forward to the day I could destroy those who had hurt my family. She turned and shut the door; her gaze lingering on me for a split second.

"I think it's time," Alis nodded and I held out my hand, a smaller version of Feyre's bouquet appearing and I walked slowly in front of her. Music played and as the doors opened, my steps faltered when I saw the red rose petals spread across the ground like pools of blood and I felt the fear rolling off her in waves. Her voice was shrill down the bond as she cried for help and when I stopped before the dais my head was pounding. Everyone gasped and I whipped around. There behind Feyre stood my brother, the High Lord of the Night Court.


	4. Home

My heart stopped and I had to pinch my hand to make sure I was really awake. There he stood, cocky smile and all looking between Tamlin and Feyre. He'd grown and looked more like our father but the violet eyes that were now schooled into cool indifference were all our mothers. 

"Hello, Feyre darling. I'm calling in our little bargain." I grinned and watched Feyre's eyes meet mine. Tamlin started to bitch fit and that drew some of Rhysand's attention. Feyre held out a hand and I nodded closing the distance between us and took her outstretched hand. I would be returning home sooner than expected and I couldn't hide the joy in my eyes.

"She's coming," She hissed before Rhys grabbed her hand and we winnowed towards the House of Wind. I hid behind Feyre's skirt, watching her exchange with Rhys, I almost lost my composure when she threw her shoe at him and I couldn't hold back the tiny snicker that escaped my lips. There was a lot of yelling I wasn't very interested in so I slipped away, taking in the house I'd grown up in before Rhys and I had bought our home in Velaris. Everything was the same and I walked towards one of the windows that overlooked the mountains, the Illyrian mountains. Memories of Rhys training me, getting my ass beat and then getting back up again until I was bloody and bruised. Memories of Cassian joining the training sessions and how he wouldn't touch me before I landed the first blow. Azriel's arrival at the camp and teaching me to be one with the shadows, being his best friend, and when I was grown I remembered fighting my way tot he top of the mountain to show my brother how much I'd grown. They'd had each other but I was on my own, the only female in training, and that making me push harder and harder until I was on the verge of death. My mind flashed to my cousin, her horrible past but lovely personality...

"Well hello there little one," I whipped around, a golden halo surrounding soft hazel eyes, and I almost fell backward. There stood my cousin, more devastatingly beautiful than I remembered, and a warm smile on her face.

"Mor?" My eyes watered and she stared at me confused, her eyes widening as the shift came over me. The green dress melting away to reveal the plum gown I'd borrowed from Feyre, my wings, and my midnight curls. Mor fell back as if I had burned her, her face suddenly twisted in pain.

"No..." She backed away, her eyes haunted and pooling with tears. "You, you're dead. Rhys found your head in a box..." I shook my head and she launched herself at me, sobbing into my chest as I wrapped my arms and wings around her as if she would disappear.

"I never thought I'd see you again Yvaine," We sobbed together for the longest time until I pulled away, brushing tears from both of our faces.

"It's so good to see you Morrigan. I've missed you so much," I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and she dragged me into a room, sitting on the bed with me tucked into her side, holding onto my hand as my other played with my hair, my wings disappearing into shadow to lay comfortably beside Mor. "I've missed you, cousin," She pressed a kiss to the top of my head and I snuggled deeper into her chest. Two and a half centuries, that's how long it had been since I was able to hug my cousin. We'd always been close and more like siblings which her father resented but he could do little against the High Lord's daughter. I often tended to her wounds and she confided in me more than anyone else. We both knew more about each other than anyone else. the only person who knew me more was my brother, he would always know me better than myself and vise versa.

"I know the story is a long one but please, tell me everything." She pleaded, more tears soaking into my dress and I sighed, resting my head on her shoulder.

"Do you remember the day I left for Spring?" She nodded and so I told her everything. I told her about the pain, the sadness, and the loneliness that I faced after being bound in my prison. I told her about the darkness I saw in myself and in everything, how I missed them all, and only ever dreamed of coming home. I told her how the darkness started to speak back and it was like looking into the ouroboros mirror, about the first time I met Feyre and how she set me free. I told her of my dreams and nightmares, my plans to rip apart Spring until there was nothing left and then I told her of how the memory of her, of my family, was the only thing that kept me sane.

By the time I'd finished the sun was riding low over the mountains and Mor had started dozing off, her eyes fluttering every few minutes, fighting to stay awake.

"Let's get to your room, cousin. I'm not going anywhere, I promise, but I also promised I would protect Feyre and I can feel her starting to panic." She nodded sleepily and I wrapped my arm around her shoulder as we walked through the halls towards her room. Normally she would return to the town-house but I knew she wanted to be able to wake up in the same place as me. We slipped into her room and I pulled back the blankets while she changed into nightclothes. When she crawled in I sat in the edge and ran my hand through her hair, smiling softly and humming. At the same time, I was reaching down the bond I had with Feyre. "I'm sorry I've been away from you little hunter but there was something I had to take care of. Sleep tonight and know you are safe. I will find you in the morning." I felt her fear but I sent as much calming energy down the bond as I could. I turned my attention back to Mor and she was watching me through hooded eyes.

"This still feels like a dream, like, if I go to sleep I'll wake up and you'll be gone," A tear streaked down her cheek and I wiped it away pressing my forehead to hers. 

"I will be right here when you wake up," I crawled into the bed and cuddled up behind her, wrapping her in a hug and she finally relaxed enough to fall asleep. Not long after I felt myself drifting off to the best night's sleep I'd gotten in a long time.

I woke the next morning, stretching my stiff limbs. I looked down at Mor, still wrapped in my arms and a small smile on her face.

"Hey sleepyhead, it's time to wake up." She yawned and then shot up staring at me wildly. 

"Hey, it's okay, I'm still here." She sighed and hugged me again before bouncing over to her wardrobe.

"I still can't believe it, I mean you've been gone forever. Your anniversary was yesterday!" She threw a purple top and pants at me as I was plaiting my hair while she got changed. "Are you going to tell the others? Are you going back when Feyre leaves?" Mor asked, sitting on the bed while she brushed her hair. I hummed to myself and changed into the clothes she'd given me.

"I've written to Amren already, it was in the collateral plans Rhys and I had drawn up when we were still young. Being an heir to the most powerful court has its price and the knowledge that we may one day be taken, killed, or have to sacrifice for our court was something both my brother and I grew up and accepted." I stretched, walking to the balcony, looking out towards Velaris. "I expected to be away from our court longer, though I am glad to return, I must return with Feyre until I know she is ready to hold her own in Spring or if she will return here with me more permanently." Mor stood beside me, leaning her head on my shoulder and linking our arms.

"Will you tell your brother at least? I can't imagine how he'll feel when he discovers his baby sister did not reveal herself to him and rather his second and his third in command." Her voice was half teasing and half-serious. I sighed and a shiver ran up my spine.

"I would not leave my brother to suffer, nor would I pass the burden to you to hold that secret. Amren could've kept this until I came home but it would seem a reunion is in order." She smiled at me and suddenly her door burst open.

"Mor, I need you to find a little nymph that came with Feyre ... I apologize I didn't realize you had company..." Mor met my gaze and I nodded, turning to face my brother and he froze. He studied my face and collapsed to his knees. I knelt in front of him and smiled sadly, tears dripping down my cheeks.

"Did you miss me, brother?" His cold exterior broke and I threw myself into his waiting embrace, his entire being anchoring me to the earth.

"You've no idea, Yvaine," I held onto him tighter and my body shook from exhaustion, sorrow, and the wave of an emotion I hadn't felt in years... Love.

"How are you here? What happened? I have so many questions," Rhys spoke quickly, his demeanor one I had not seen since we were very very young. "I missed you so much Astraea, where have you been?" I frowned and pulled away, knowing he wasn't going to like the answer to that question.

"We should go somewhere private first, you're not going to like my answer." He frowned and led us to his study and I sat down beside Mor. "When mother and I went to meet you we didn't get the word about you staying behind until it was too late. Tamlin's father and brothers were waiting for us. They dosed me with Faebane and chained me while they beat mother..." My voice hitched and Rhys squeezed my hand while Mor wrapped an arm around me. "Tamlin held me and made me watch while they ripped the wings from her back," I buried my face in my hands as sobs racked my body. I hadn't thought about my mother's death very often because it was so violent and it made me sick reliving it. The sound of her screaming, the smell of her blood... "They took me back to Spring and used the chains and a pice of their power to bind me to a prison in Spring." Rhys frowned and I held out my hand, fire burning over my palm. 

"Tamlin's father and Boreon worked together to bind me to a prison below the estate. I was tortured..." My voice cracked and a tear streaked down my cheek.

"Tamlin watched him carve into my back, he tried to shred my wings but I kept them hidden, as much as I could with the little magic I had left. He wanted to know how to get into the mountain... I never gave him what he wanted... he eventually left me alone and then you killed him but I couldn't call out to you or father," I choked back another sob and Rhys pulled me into his arms, his hand stroking my hair softly and rubbing circles on my back. He traced my deepest scar and my body froze. "That was Boreon, he... he only stayed for the first week but he did enough damage." I held onto Rhys's jacket and he kissed the top of my head. "I was imprisoned until just a few short weeks ago, Feyre was the one who released me and I owe her a life debt. I was close to the edge when a friend sent her and she found me." Rhys was shaking and I looked deep into the dark blue eyes that were filled with rage.

"He'll pay, they'll all pay." I shook my head and moved towards the door.

"All in good time brother, I have my plans." He growled in irritation but said nothing else. I looked to Mor who had the same hungry look in her eyes, hungry for war. "We'll need Spring's cooperation if we are to save our people and the Fae from Hybern..." I left the issue at that and Rhys bowed his head. 

"Always the great strategist, little sister." I met Rhys's eyes and rolled my eyes, my heart swelling at the snarky comment. I'd missed him more than I could've ever imagined.

"Father was nothing if not smart, teaching me about war even when Keir and the other generals said it was a waste because I was female." I smiled warmly at him and he nodded, Mor, smiled at me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

"You know, I know someone else who is going to be so excited to learn a certain female is still alive and kicking." I frowned and she poked my side, "You and Azriel were inseparable when you were younger, always following one another, and working seamlessly as a team. Cassian is going to be ecstatic to learn his favorite sparring partner is back too, he's getting sick of putting Rhys on his ass." I let out a laugh and wiped a tear from my cheek. I was about to answer when I felt Feyre's fear and worry bubble to the surface of our bond.

"A happy reunion will have to wait until tonight, I need to go to her. She's unstable and I can feel her discomfort." They nodded and I grabbed Mor's hand.

"Perhaps this would be a good time to introduce her to some new people, cauldron knows she needs more human interaction." Mor nodded and followed me down the halls as I made my way to Feyre's bedroom.

"Feyre," I knocked on the door and peaked in, her eyes meeting mine and her body relaxing. I motioned for Mor to wait outside as I moved towards her bed. She was dressed in a pair of blue night court clothes and I smiled, she looked good, like one of us.

"Let's get you bathed and changed." She nodded and I led her into the bathroom, the bath filled with hot water and I helped her out of the clothes, noticing a pile of white taffeta sitting on the floor. I growled low in my throat before tossing it out onto the floor. She sunk below the water and I sat at the edge of the tub, massaging shampoo into her scalp before rinsing and repeating with the conditioner.

"Where were you? I was worried," I smiled softly and chuckled at her concern.

"You know I'm much older than you yes?" She nodded and I started rinsing the suds from her chestnut locks. "I was born here, in the Night Court. My father and mother nurtured me and my siblings here in these very walls." Feyre stiffened and turned to look at me, her eyes darkening slightly as her body trembled.

"You told me that, I guess I never gave a thought to who your parents were..." She moved to the other side of the bath and I held my hands up in a sign of good faith. 

"I thought you would've figured out by now I don't want you to hurt you if I wanted to do anything I would've done it as soon as you freed me from my prison. Have you forgotten the bargain we struck? It is inked on the back of your neck until the day you die." She stilled and pulled her knees to her chest. I coaxed her towards me and she returned to her spot in front of me against the wall of the tub. She faced me and I reached to cup her cheek in my palm. She leaned into it and I brushed my thumb over her cheek. "Sweet Feyre, my darling girl. There's so much you don't know, but I will tell you everything I can alright?" She nodded and I kissed her forehead before conditioning her hair and rinsing the rest of the soap out. 

When I was done her hair was smooth and free of any knots that had once tangled the beautiful chestnut waves. "I'll let you finish and leave your clothes on the counter with some towels." She nodded and I left her alone, joining Mor in the main room. I moved the dress to the middle of the room and set it ablaze.

"That's a bit aggressive," Mor teased and I shook my head.

"An awful dress deserves an awful end, I'll not see her in it again." I hissed and Mor nodded, leaning her head on my shoulder.

"You're going to tell her who exactly you are, what happened in Spring?" I nodded and leaned my head on top of Mor's.

"She needs to know, I won't keep her in the dark when it has everything to do with her. She's been kept away from everything to do with her court and the people I won't have that mistrust spread through ours." She nodded and I heard Feyre get out of the bath.

"With everything I'm going to unload on her tonight, I think it's best if I do it alone." Mor nodded and watched the door to the bathroom.


	5. Explinations

"Call me if you need anything, the boys are coming later tonight so don't unload everything right now. That might actually send her into a tailspin." I smiled softly and pecked her cheek, giving her a tight squeeze before sending her back to my brother. The bathroom door opened to reveal Feyre with a towel around her hair and the navy blue night court wear similar to my own. I sat on the edge of the bed and set one of the many cushions between my feet, motioning for her to sit in front of me. She sat slowly and relaxed as my fingers began to work through her hair, gently undoing any knots and tangles.

"So you're Night Court," I hummed in response and channeled my fire into my palms heating them up enough to begin to dry her hair. "Then why were you in Spring? How long were you there? Why didn't Tamlin every tell me..." I frowned and sighed making sure to keep my movements in her hair gently.

"I think this would be better told as a story... I'll start from the beginning then. I was born several centuries ago and my brother and I were inseparable. We made friends outside our court carefully, our father and mother warning us of the dangers of outside courts. We met the Spring princes, Tamlin was the youngest,"

"Tam never told me he had brothers," I shook my head and rubbed small circles into her scalp.

"They all died when his father and mother were killed after they'd murdered the Lady of the Night court and her daughter when they were to visit the High Lord's son." Feyre froze and turned to look at me,

"Tamlin killed," I shook my head but I knew from her expression that the darkness still lingered in my eyes.

"No, he did the worst thing imaginable. He stood by and watched as innocent Fae were murdered for no rhyme or reason, simply to weaken the court." She froze, my comment about murdering innocent Fae hitting too close to home. I reached to wipe away the tear that had escaped and rolled down my cheek.

"I met Tamlin before that happened, I met his two brothers, his father, and mother. His mother was lovely, a true Lady of Spring with a heart of gold, but no will of her own. Tamlin's brothers were cruel like their father, Tamlin wasn't like them. He was soft like his mother and the High Lord didn't take kindly to it. He hardened the kind Fae prince into one who was selfish and thought only of his court's interests instead of Prythian. We met on a Night visit to Spring, the High Lord's son and he bonded and became friends. There was a promise of truce and even a treaty," Feyre's eyes widened and her hand flew to her mouth,

"I didn't know..." Tears streaked down my face but I kept my voice smooth and calm.

"The assassination of our court was planned months in advance and we had no inkling of any ill will. They dosed me with enough Fae bane to subdue me and bind me to that prison. The High Lord of Autumn and Spring combined their efforts and used their power to bind me there, but what they didn't know is that in doing so they gave me a piece of themselves. Like you have a piece of all the high Lords in you I gained a piece of those two courts. They tortured me until they grew bored of my silence and continued with the execution of the Night Court Lady, my mother. I was helpless and could do nothing to save them," Feyre stood and her eyes widened.

"The Lady of the Night Court was your mother, you're Rhysand's sister?" Her body was stiff and I nodded, looking down at my arm tracing the black tattoo that signified my position and loyalty to my court.

"Yes Feyre, I am. I have not seen my brother since I was but a child," The sadness in my voice seemed to convince her that I might not be as bad as the rumors of my court and she threw her arms around my neck, her eyes as teary as my own if not more.

"I'm so sorry Yvaine," I shook my head and held her tight. We moved to the back of the bed and I sat straight against the headboard with her head tucked into my neck and my arm around her back.

"After the death of my mother, they tortured me until the realized the could get nothing from me; that even though I was still a child I had no intention of spilling my court's secrets. They sent my mother's head and one that looked like mine down the river to the Illyrian camp where my brother was training. When the found it my father and brother unleashed hell in Spring. They snuck into the court and in the dead of night slaughtered the High Lord, his wife, and two of his sons. Tamlin was spared because of the bond he'd forged with my brother. I was too weak to call out to them so I was left to rot and forgotten... until a human girl was brought into Spring." She sniffed and hugged me tighter,

"I saw much of myself in that human girl that wandered through Spring, not knowing the dangers all around her so I begged Alis to reach out. I sent drawings with runes of protection around them, hoping to keep someone else safe from the court that had taken everything from me. When Tamlin sent you away I thought he was finally losing the selfishness his father had instilled in him and when you came back I was almost glad to hear of your presence but you ran for the mountain... that girl never returned. Instead, I felt a familiar presence laced in magic. You had been changed, much like when the High Lords had bound me to my prison but you, you were made new in body, not just in magic. I sensed a familiar kernel of magic from my homeland and knew if I reached out to you, this time you would hear me." I stroked her hair and kissed the crown of her head. Feyre yawned and I smiled softly.

"I'm so sorry, Yvaine. I'm sorry I didn't find you sooner," I sighed and met her eyes.

"I am the one who is sorry, I could've saved you so much pain and heartache if I'd told Alis to send you to me sooner. I feel so guilty that I let you run to that mountain alone, I should've gone. Perhaps you could have come back still human, still happy, and lived contently as the Spring's Consort." Those words taste sour on my tongue but she'd been happy before going under the mountain.

"I'm glad I could help you, Yvaine. Perhaps it will help me atone for what I have done..." I frowned and watched her face fall, a darkness in her eyes. I shook my head and made her look at me.

"You are a survivor, Feyre Archeron. Never be ashamed of the scars that life has left you with. A scar means the hurt is over, the wound has closed. You endured the pain, and you survived." I held the sides of her face and made her look me in the eyes. "You have reunited me with my family, Morrigan, my cousin, and one of the dearest people in my life. You've brought me back to my brother, the male I never thought I'd see again. I've missed them all so much and did not believe I'd ever see them again. After you let me out I sent word to a friend that I was alive and would return to our court soon. I knew about your bargain with my brother and it was only a matter of time until he came to collect on it. You were my savior and you were my only chance of getting home." Her face was a bit paler than it was before and I held her tight, trying to soothe some of her fears.

"I know you must trust me even less now, little hunter. Your mind is screaming to get away from the sister of the man who has been cast as a monster by so many. You must think so terribly of me and what I want to do to that court for the pain they caused my family. But I struck a bargain with you, and it will not be broken so easily. I will protect you and yours until the end of my days, that I can promise, but those you view as your friends and family may begin to change as you come to understand just exactly what this court thrives on compared to your own." Her eyes had softened, her body now relaxed in my arms, her eyes laced with exhaustion. "In my eyes, you have more than atoned for whatever crimes you believe you committed under that goddess forsaken mountain," Her eyes searched mine for an understanding and I smiled sadly. "I've killed, no matter how young I was, I was responsible for the deaths of civilians and warriors alike as part of my father's war council. There is blood on my hands that I can never wash off but I learned quickly that it does no good to dwell on the lives I have taken." Feyre nodded and I pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"We have a week here Feyre, all will be explained in due time. For now, you need to sleep, I know you don't want to and that's all you've been doing these past months is resting but today you need to sleep knowing you're not a prisoner in your own home," My message had hit home and a tear dripped down her cheek.

"Sleep little huntress, tomorrow is a new day, one filled with so many opportunities," She yawned and snuggled into my side. I settled in with her and traced a line gently from her forehead to the tip of her nose.

Her breathing had evened out and her body relaxed into my arms. I kissed her forehead before tucking her into the blankets and quietly slipped out the doors, Mor waited for me there and I placed my hand in hers as we winnowed to the townhouse.


	6. Reunions

I stood in the bedroom Mor had winnowed us into and was pacing silently, careful to not make any sound. I fluffed my curls and wrung my hands before plopping down on the bed. I ran my hands through my hair and huffed,

"This isn't going to go well, I can feel it. How am I supposed to do this? Just pop in and say 'Hey I'm not really dead, haha isn't that funny?' Mor this is a bad idea." My worried eyes met her hazel ones and she rolled her eyes.

"That's kind of what you did to me and I turned out just fine! The boys know someone is coming, but they don't know who, they won't shut up about it and are basically interrogating Rhys as we speak." I smiled softly and took a deep breath,

"Maybe I should have worn padding, I can feel Cassian's bone-crushing hug from here... If he doesn't kill me first." She almost snorted and I took a deep breath before walking behind her down the stairs and towards the kitchen.

"Relax, everything will be fine. Just let us ease them into it, 'cause you're right Cas might actually try to kill you," She chuckled before rounding the corner into the kitchen. "Rhys, give me the bourbon, she's gonna need it. Pour these two idiots a glass to," I heard shuffling and glasses being poured.

"So who are we meeting? I thought you were keeping Feyre up at the House this time, you said we were going to 'overwhelm' her." I heard the wry smile in Cassian's voice and I couldn't help but smile.

"You would, she's fragile right now," Rhys growled and Cassian huffed. "This one is slightly less believable actually, she solidified my vendetta against that wretched bastard at the Wall." His voice was dark and I shivered at his intentions, he would be ruthless when we decided to go.

"She's asked not to be crushed upon arrival but I know how stupidly impulsive you are." Mor chided and I chuckled softly. I slipped around the corner and took in the sight before me. Rhys and Mor leaned against the island and the two Illyrian warriors were set comfortably against the counter and sink. Their eyes flicked to me and the shadows around Azriel were pulsing. I'd always been good at hiding from his shadows, looks like I hadn't lost my touch.

Both males studied me, both discreetly sniffing the air, and Cassian was the first to step forward. His face paled as he stared me down and I smiled softly.

"Long time no see tough old bastard," I smirked and he didn't even give me a chance to prepare before I was engulfed in a bone-crushing hug.

"Cauldron you're real, Evie..." The emotion in his voice was surreal and my body began to tremble as tears poured down my cheeks once again. I inhaled deeply, his woodsy scent filling my nose bringing back memories of him training me in the Illyrian mountains.

"It's been a long time Cas, I've missed you so much," He pulled back and I was not prepared for the punch I had to dodge last minute and the next few he continued to throw at me.

"You no-good son of a bitch, we thought you were dead! We held a funeral, we burned your pyre! You're just like your bastard brother leaving us here in Velaris while he went off to fight his own battles! I'll kill you myself and then bring you back and beat you some more!" He continued to lunge and I continued to doge every single one of his attacks until I fell into the arms of my shadow. Cassian stopped fighting, his chest heaving as he watched my reaction to Azriel. I met the Hazel eyes that I had missed so much and threw my arms around him burying my nose in his neck. The familiar scent of night-chilled mist and cedar filled my nose and I relaxed into his embrace.

"I've missed you, shadow," I pulled away as the voice I'd missed so dearly, dark and smooth and cold as shadows given form, filled my ears.

"As I have missed your eyes, your laugh, your smile, my Lady," I grinned, and when our eyes met again a bond snapped into place, knocking the wind out of me. "Holy shit..." Azriel's eyes were wide and his grip on me tightened slightly as if I would flutter away on the wind. My hand gripped the sides of his face and a tear dripped down my cheek. A mating bond had snapped into place when our eyes locked and our magic swirled together. The boy I had loved for so long before anyone else had seen the worth in him, the light in his shadows.

"Is anyone else getting uncomfortable?" Mor teased but I shook my head and pressed our foreheads together, his shadows wrapping around both of us,

"Yvaine, where have you been?" I shook my head and buried my face in his neck again, relaxing in his embrace.

"I think I've heard Az speak more in these 5 minutes than he has in his entire life," That finally made me laugh and I pulled away, meeting Mor's gaze and smiling softly. I turned back, my arms still around Az's neck, and our foreheads pressing together, our eyes locked. I tiptoed down the bond and stroked the ever-pulsing wall of shadow that surrounded his mind, it pulsed before letting me slip inside.

"I can't believe this is happening," I whispered into his mind and I let all of my emotions flow down the bond, completely open to him. I felt his emotions flow down the bond to me and I felt his love, his disbelief, his longing.

"Never leave me, never again," His voice soothed my shaking and I nuzzled my nose against his.

"I'm right here, I'll always be here," I whispered and he tightened his grip on me. I buried my face in his neck and he sighed, his shadows dispersing until they were almost invisible.

"At least now I don't have to beat some crazy male off my sister," Rhys huffed and I smiled wryly int Azriel's neck, pulling away and turning around. I leaned back into his chest and he pressed his nose against my temple, "Yeah too cuddly Az," Rhys said again and I felt Azriel's irritation pulse down the bond. I sent warm feelings down the bond and he eased un a bit, his grip still staying tight around my waist.

"Don't tease him, Rhys." I purred and Azriel hummed to himself, ignoring my brother's commentary and concentrating on me. I hadn't seen Azriel before I'd been taken, my father hadn't liked the closeness between us and had sent Az on long missions to keep us apart. Perhaps he saw the bond even before we did, it wasn't strange. My father had always been insightful and I counted it a blessing that the bond hadn't snapped into place before I was taken, he would've suffered more if it had.

"Are we going to hear about how you survived and how you're here?" I felt Az stiffen behind me and I sighed, Cassian was as blunt as ever. We moved to the sofas in the living room and I sat snuggled into Azriel's side, across from Mor, Cassian, and Rhys, Az's wing laid over my shoulder protectively. Az's hands traced small circles on my exposed skin; to calm himself or me I didn't know.

"The day I left with mother, we didn't get the news of Rhys staying to train until we reached the meeting point..." The room was silent as I started and Azriel's grip got tighter every so often as if he was making sure I was still in his arms and not some illusion.

"The High Lord of Spring had made a deal with Autumn in order to weaken the Night Court. Tamlin was the first we saw, I was happy to see him... but then his brother's came out. I was bound in blue chains made of Fae Bane before I realized what was happening," Shame reddened my face and I took a deep breath to calm my nerves.

"Tamlin made me kneel, made me watch as they ripped the things off her back, and when they took her head..." I hissed to myself, my nails digging into my forearm. The others remained silent, a signal for me to continue and I felt Az try to pry my arms apart so I wasn't hurting myself.

"I passed out and woke up in a cell under the estate in Spring. Beron was there alongside Tamlin's father, they cut me with ash blades and they tried to clip my wings..." I felt the hot tears roll down my cheeks at the memory of that pain. " They tortured me to gain knowledge of our court and assumed because I was female that I was weak," Cassian chuffed and grumbled to himself at the comment and I smiled softly,

"Needless to say they got no information and when Rhys came with father after they killed my mother, I had no strength left to call out to them. Honestly, with the amount of Faebane, I've inhaled over the centuries I'm surprised I have any magic at all."

"So they just forgot about you? You're telling me you've been rotting alone for all these years and you still have your sanity?" Cassian was growling and his siphons were glowing brightly, all of them looked about to shatter.

"After Tamlin became High Lord he assigned one of his court members to care for me and then forgot about me. She was a kind Fae and she helped me heal my wings. I couldn't get a message to you without compromising my relationship with her and by the time she trusted me enough Amarantha had taken over. Feyre came, shortly after, and all my energy was used to keep that sweet girl safe and I failed. She freed me even though I failed her and I love her all the more for it." Azriel nuzzled my cheek and took deep breathes, the bright light from his siphons dimming along with Cassian's.

"I still can't believe I have you, that you're here in my arms." He said, I pecked his lips and I nodded at Morrigan who launched herself at me and caught Az and me in a group hug. Cassian and Rhys joined us and before long I couldn't breathe. They all returned to their seats and I snuggled deeper into Azriel's side.

"Where's Amren? I told her she needed to be here when you arrived. I'm surprised, you were always her favorite... she coddled you and it made her look," Rhys shivered, "Almost normal," He stared at me and I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped my lips.

"I sent word to Amren when Feyre released me, the contingency plans we laid out when we were still young, she was my confidante. She knew I was coming home so I'm not surprised if she's still prowling the streets looking for dinner," I said, my brother's eyes narrowing he opened his mouth but was interrupted.

"Not prowling anymore little star," our heads whipped towards the door and there she stood ever so calmly. Her silver eyes just as entrancing as I remembered and I slipped out of Azriel's embrace. She opened her arms and hugged me tightly. "I've missed you dear one, these other idiots have been ever so annoying without you around." She purred and I smiled warmly giving her another squeeze before backing away. Amren had always shown me considerably more compassion and humanity than the others, Rhys always thought it was because I had followed her around as a youngling and I'd forced her to care for me.

"You know I never really thought too much about that collateral thing, but I can't believe you told Amren before you told me. I'm your brother!" Rhys grumbled and I glared at him.

"That, Rhysand, is why your sister was the strategist on the war council and not you." Amren chided and I laughed softly. I moved back to the sofa where Azriel held out his arms and pulled me into his lap. "Your sister was always smarter than you Rhysand, sending word to me was the smartest thing she could've done." Amren smacked the back of his head and headed up the stairs towards her room.

I yawned and Azriel slid a hand under my knees before picking me up and following Amren. Mor wiggled her fingers at me and I rolled my eyes, resting my head against Azriel's shoulder. He carried me up the stairs to his room and laid me down on the large bed, large enough for his Illyrian wings. Azriel tugged off his shirt and I watched the muscles ripple over his strong frame. His black tattoos stood out against the tanned skin of his back and I smiled at my male. He slid into the bed, wrapping his wings around me as I laid facing him. I reached out to trace the edges of his face and his eyes never left mine, we re-memorized every feature we could've forgotten after all these years.

I rested our foreheads together and closed my eyes taking in the scent and feel of the male I'd never forgotten after all these years. We laid in comfortable silence, the darkness soothing my worries and fears, replacing them with her male. His hands ran the length of my body, those beautiful scarred hands that had taught me to fly and fight, to survive. I took his hand and kissed his palms, his eyes widening ever so slightly. He'd rarely let anyone touch his hands, touch him in general, but even when I was young we were close, our souls quietly calling to one another. 

"I love you, Azriel. Now and to whatever end," I whispered and he pulled me closer, wrapping his arms and wings around us tighter.

"I love you, Yvaine. Your kind heart is the light in my darkness. From now to whatever end." He whispered back and pressed his lips to my forehead as I drifted into a blissful sleep, my mate's heartbeat the only sound in my ears.


	7. Our Place

I nuzzled into the warm body that held me tight, like the smallest breeze would blow me away. I rolled over to face him, his wing shading me from any sunlight that might be peaking through our window. 

His face had softened in sleep and I smiled softly, lightly tracing small shapes on his cheeks, neck, and chest. His breathing hitched and I knew Az was no longer sleeping. He rolled onto his back, letting his wing spread across the side of the bed and I leaned over him, resting my head on his chest. He lifted his hand and caressed the side of my face, tangling his hands in my hair. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his, pushing myself up and swinging my leg over to straddle his legs. I pulled away, panting heavily and pressed my forehead against his.

"I've missed you Az, I missed you so much." Tears slipped from my eyes, landing on his cheeks and he sat up against the headboard, letting me rest against his bare chest. He stroked his hand through my hair and resting his chin on the top of my head. "It's been so long since I left but I replay that day over and over again in my head. I knew something was off, I knew something was going to happen but I was stupid-" He shook his head and squeezed me tighter.

"You are not stupid. Trust is a powerful thing and as you said, you were young." I blushed red in shame and Az nuzzled in my hair. "I was also gone for more than a year when your father tried to force us apart and no matter how many letters I sent or shadows I whispered in, they would never have sparked the mate bond." He held my face in his hands stroking a thumb across my cheek. I leaned into his touch, my mind wholly focused on the feeling of his hands on my face. I pulled back, taking his hand with me, and laid it in my lap gently running my fingers over the scars that covered them. 

I remembered when I first discovered what his scars were from. I was nearly 35 when he finally caved and told me the story, his story. I'd been overly emotional and had told my father I would see Azriel's half-brothers heads on spikes for what they'd done to him. A smile tugged at my lips at the memory of Azriel soothing my rage by holding me, it was something he often did when I was younger but Rhys and put a swift end to it when he believed I was too taken with his friend. 

Azriel put a finger under my chin, lifting it so I would meet his gaze, and I melted at the warmth that I only ever saw when we were together. 

"What matters is that now you're here, in my arms and safe." I frowned and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"I'm going to have to go back, Az. I can't leave her alone, not while she's this fragile." He frowned and sighed, knowing I wasn't going to back down and buried his face in my neck peppering it with small kisses.

"Then give me this week, I need this week with you before I send my mate back into the hands of the enemy." He whispered and I nodded smiling sadly before pressing my lips to his. Warm and softer than silk, his lips held me captive as his hands circled my hips, moving up to tease the bare skin of my torso.

"I want to walk amongst my people again, then tonight you and I are going to our place." I purred, rolling my hips just the right way and Az groaned, nipping at my lips and neck. I hissed at the small nips that left marks along my neck before leaning forward to leave my own, reaching forward to stroke the inside of his wings earning me a low growl that vibrated through his chest and I licked up the side of his neck. He rolled us over so he loomed over me, his wings open and his face nearing mine. I smiled innocently before pecking his nose and winnowing to the other side of the room. He whirled around and I smirked as I slipped into the bathroom. 

"You'd better be inviting me in, stella meus," he growled low, stalking towards me slowly and I smirked licking my lips before shutting the door and locking it soundly behind me. I heard his growl of frustration and chuckled to myself before turning on the water to let it warm up. 

"All in good time, Umbra," I purred down the bond and I felt him brush gently against my shield before retreating, his footsteps silent to most as he padded down to the kitchen.

I dropped my clothes into a basket and stepped under the hot water that rained from the ceiling, letting my mind go blank as the water washed away the light pain in my muscles. Very carefully I combed oils and soaps through my curls before scrubbing the rest of my body until my skin was clean and smooth. I stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around my body and gently scrunched my curls with another towel until most of the water was gone. Lathering my skin with a scented oil I looked at my reflection, taking in how much I'd truly changed.

Inky black coiled curls framed my face, my violet-blue eyes, and tanned skin. I was most definitely my mother's daughter, her curls, and blue eye a testament to that. She'd spent hours playing my hair, teaching me the right way to style it, and make sure my curls were always whole and smooth.

My chest hurt remembering her gentle voice and how her hands had twisted through my hair. A shiver ran down my spine and a single tear escaped down my cheek. I shook my head, I couldn't be sad today, she wouldn't want that. I could almost hear her voice telling me how happy she was for me and to always cherish the bond that I'd be gifted by the mother. 

A pair of indigo night court clothes, identical to the ones from yesterday, sat on the dresser no doubt from Mor. I slipped into them and shook out my curls letting them fall free around my waist. 

Down in the kitchen, my mate stood dressed in all black as usual talking to Cassien and Mor, his eyes locking on me as soon as I entered. Cassian smiled warmly at me, his eyes darting between Az and me, his nose moving ever so lightly attempting to catch a change in my scent. I narrowed my eyes and him and chuckled, punching his arm.

Cas had been as much of an older brother as Rhys had. He'd tried to ignore me when I was young but I followed him around, jealous of his relationship with my brother but it ended up being Rhys who was jealous because I ended up spending more time with Cassian. He was more willing to train me than anyone else, save for Azriel who took it upon himself to teach me to fly in complicated aerial maneuvers. 

I shook my head at the warm memories and slipped under Azriel's arm, relaxing into his side. I smiled up at him just as a ghost of a smile tugged at his lips.

"You've gone soft Az," Cassian teased and I shot him a glare as Mor swatted the back of his head.

"When you find yourself a female, I'll make sure you see how soft you go." I quipped and pecked Az's cheek before slipping out of his arms to grab an apple. "I have to go see Feyre before we leave but after that," I smiled warmly at Azriel and I heard the growl that echoed deep in his chest. "It's just you and me, Umbra meus," I purred down the bond, and Cassian made a gagging sound. I laughed and ate my apple, Azriel moving to my side and wrapping his arms around my waist. 

"Stella meus," He whispered down the bond and I leaned back into his chest.

I was still in slight shock at being home, and in the arms of my mate no less. It was just a few weeks ago that I was imprisoned under the Spring Court Estate, alone and tired. 

Azriel picked up on my change in mood and pressed a kiss to the top of my head. "Go to her, I am going to make sure everything is ready for us," He spoke quietly, his voice flowing with a small purr in his chest. 

I pressed a light kiss to his lips and nodded at Mor and Cass before winnowing up to the house.

I stood on the balcony of Feyre's room, perched on the railing, and watched as she stared at a piece of paper. From my place, I could only see that it was a list of words and I smiled to myself, she was trying to teach herself to read.

"Found something to entertain yourself, have you?" I hopped off the railing as her head snapped back to me, her eyes softening when she saw it was me. I sat next to her, looking over her shoulder at the list and a small smile lit my face. Her cheeks were red and she flipped over the paper so I couldn't see it anymore.

"It's nothing," her voice was low, embarrassed and I chuckled softly before touching her hand.

"There is absolutely no shame in wanting to better yourself. No doubt my brother will come up with a nasty way to teach you those things to fill the desire for some humor." I laughed at the thought and Feyre tensed, meeting my gaze.

"Could you... could you teach me?" She asked softly and I smiled gently.

"I actually came to talk to you about something... as long as you'll be okay I'm going to have to make an early departure this week," I saw the panic fill her eyes and her hand latched onto mine and I shook my head. "I'll be back before you leave and I promise that I'm going back to Spring Court with you, but something really important happened yesterday." An excited smile stretched across my lips and my eyes began to water. "I found my mate, Feyre, I really found him." The tears spilled down my cheeks and her eyes widened before she pulled me into a hug. A shiver than down my spine and I sighed before pulling back to wipe my face.

"Mates, they're really important aren't they?" She asked and I nodded, still trying to pull myself back together. "Is your mate going to let you come back with me? I thought Tamlin said something about mates not going long periods of time without each other..." I frowned at her words and shook my head.

"Tamlin has a very backward and old-world way of thinking, something I know you'll see clearly in time. Mates are two halves of a whole and it's true that it can be hard to be away but I want to get one thing straight," I made her look me in the eyes as I said, "Mates don't own one another, I am my mate's as he is mine but we are both free to make our own decisions. Mates... they balance each other and complement each other's personalities and habits. My mate," I smiled thinking about Az and my heart fluttered.

"Is the opposite of you?" Feyre asked and I cocked my head thinking about it for a moment before shaking my head.

"Not exactly, the idea of opposites attract doesn't usually work, it's never worked in my memory. Partners need to be able to work together, so it's usually like calling to like. Where my mate is quiet and has a hard time expressing things in words, I tend to speak my mind and I have an easier time letting everyone know what's going on in my head. There are times when that's not so and it's the time when we switch parts, that's when a mate's symbiosis comes in. We play well off of one another and can work together to make certain aspects of one another stronger." I smiled and Feyre nodded, still mulling it over in her mind. "What Tamlin said goes back to before the wall, to the beginning when the mother first created us. It was the thinking back then that females were lesser than males and it is still like that today in many courts, especially Spring and Autumn. My father was less so that but still held firm to most of the old ways. Rhys and Cass believe that females can fight and do everything a male can and they've both made huge strides for our court, though their progress is not as fast as they'd like," I laughed at the memory of Cassian telling my brother that he wanted females to start training in the camps.

"That's, amazing." Feyre breathed and I nodded, her eyes searched my face before straightening. "You can go with him, I can't stop you and I wouldn't stand in the way of something so important." Her voice wobbled at the end and I pulled her into a tight hug before pulling back and meeting her eyes.

"My brother will probably try to start teaching you to control your powers, and I've no doubt he'll try to teach you to read and find some vulgar way to do so," I laughed softly. "Just as you and he are bound by your bargain so are we. There is a chain between you and me now and if you need anything you can call out to me and I will hear it." I pulled her up so we were standing and hugged her again. "You have my word Feyre that you are safe here. No one will lock you up, or hurt you, or make you do things you don't want to do. There will always be a home for you here," I said softly, pressing a kiss to her forehead before giving her another squeeze.

"Thank you, Yvaine, for everything." I smiled softly and shook my head.

"Thank you, Feyre, without you I'd still be trapped in Spring." I turned to leave and smiled over my shoulder. "And Feyre," She looked back at me and smiled. "Call me Evie," I said before summoning my wings and jumping off the balcony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: I'm using Latin as the 'old language' of the high fae. I know It's not but I like Latin, sue me
> 
> *Stella meus - my star
> 
> *Umbra - shadow


	8. Entirely Yours

The early morning was still cool and crisp as I flew over Velaris, the feeling was euphoric after not flying for so long. Tears streaked down my face as I flew up, up, up, before tucking my wings in and diving back towards the city below. Life was just beginning to wake in the sleepy city. I'd forgotten how beautiful it was, after 200 years it was the single most amazing place and it was no wonder why my forefathers had sacrificed so much to protect it.

My feet touched the ground on the bridge that ran over the sidra and I ran my hands over the smooth stone. I sighed and leaned against the wall of the bridge, looking out towards the rainbow; the artist's quarter. I had lived in that quarter when I was younger, thrived in the environment of color and light. 

I walked along the streets as they began to crowd with people and I just watched as stalls opened and goods were set out. I stopped in front of a stall where a jeweler had laid out a pendant on a silver chain. Wrapped in blue-tinted silver, the jewel seemed to be made of living shadow and it looked like something was alive, pulsing within it. Silent and enduring, I smiled and looked to the Jeweler who was grinning at me.

"Beautiful isn't it? The jewel itself is just obsidian but it was mined from under the Illyrian mountains, the mountain where the warriors are tested before becoming full-fledged Illyrians." Her voice held an excitement I only ever saw in merchants who knew they alone had a treasure to share. I looked back to the pendant and picked it up, running my thumb over the smooth surface. "For our High Lord's sister, I'll give you a good price," My eyes shot up to hers and she smiled knowingly. "You might not remember but my family has served yours for centuries in crafting the ancient crowns and jewels of our court. Your mother brought you here when you were very young, and I never forget a face, especially when it resembles our dear Lady so," She smiled sadly, pulling out a small velvet box and placing the necklace inside. I handed her two gold coins.

"Thank you," I said, tucking the box into my pocket before making my way down the roof of stalls and shops. My mate was never one for gifts and I knew if I gave him another knife he would smile and accept it but her only ever used one, truth-teller, and it would be that way until the Illyrian blade broke.

~ * ~

It was mid-afternoon before Azriel came to find me. I stood at the bridge over the Sidra again, watching the people and admiring the life that flourished here. Shadows curled around my legs and his arms wrapped around my waist, my wings draping over my shoulders giving him room to rest his chin on my shoulder. Azriel's warm breath tickled the skin on my neck, and I leaned back into his solid frame resting my head against his.

"I missed you, Stella Meus," He said softly and I chuckled, turning to face him, my hands resting on his chest. He leaned down, pressed a kiss to the corner of my lips and I wrapped my arms around his neck, stretching up to my tiptoes pressing my lips to his. Azriel's scent surrounded me, his lips pulling my focus solely to him as he pulled back and kissed the tip of my nose before resting his forehead against mine. We both stood there for some time, taking in each other's presence and I couldn't seem to get enough of him.

"I'm yours for the rest of the week," I whispered and he shivered, my hands running up into his hair twisting lightly. 

"Then would you do me the honor of flying with me, mate." He purred and pulled back, I hopped up onto the wall of the bridge before spreading my wings and beating them until I was high above the city. Azriel followed close behind and flew beside me, his massive wings keeping us a healthy distance apart but I was more focused on the feeling of air running over my body. I would never take flying for granted ever again.

We flew towards the Illyrian mountains, rolling and tumbling through the sky. Just a few miles from one of the Illyrian camps, the one where my brother and I were trained, we landed and there among the sheer wall of stone a small cabin built into the side of the mountain. I'd found the cabin when I was training in the camps and when I went off on my own I was drawn to it. Much like the House of Mist, this cabin was enchanted and I'd used it as a safe space when I would get angry or overwhelmed. I'd once disappeared for 2 weeks and when no one could find me Azriel set out on his own to find me, and that's what he did. He told no one where I'd been and the cabin had become our secret, a place we could both go if we needed time away.

I stepped towards the door, resting my hand against the wood, reliving the memories I'd made here.

"I've come here only once every year, the anniversary of your death." Az's voice was low and choked; every emotion for once was clear in his voice. I pushed the door open and stepped in, a fire crackling in the living room. Nothing had changed, the same leather sofa and oak chest sat in front of the fire, my mother's blanket draped over the back. I walked through to the kitchen and found it fully stocked, the largest cabinet held a multitude of bottles - most unfinished - of alcohol. 

"They weren't pretty visits and I won't lie to you Stella Meus," he paused; his fists clenching at his sides and his head down, "I was in a dark place for a long... long time. I couldn't handle another loss and you..." His muscles were tensed, his entire body was shaking from the tension; shadows pulsed around him.

I moved towards where he stood in front of the fire, reaching out to him before freezing in place. I'd been so liberal with him the past two days and even with the mating bond... Azriel was sensitive about being touched, about being around anyone and I'd hurt him. Even if I couldn't have controlled it, I'd hurt him by 'dying' and I'd waltzed back in expecting everything to be alright. I'd touched his hands, by the mother I'd touched his wings, something he'd not even tried to do. When we were at the bridge he'd avoided touching them, and my heart clenched. I slid slowly to the floor, my hands in my lap as tears fell in steady streams and pooled in my hands. The bond gave me no right to touch him, not until he accepted the bond, and even after that, he had every right to refuse my advances. 

"I'm so sorry, Azriel," I whispered and wrapped my arms around myself, my wings drooping and resting on the ground. The tears had slowed some but would not stop, not until he knelt in front of me with our knees nearly touching. I met his eyes and bit my lip, 

"I just waltzed back into your life and expected everything to be okay, you might not even want me... I shouldn't have touched your hands, your wings, I didn't even ask I just," I shook and willed my wings away only stopping when Azriel pressed his hands to either side of my face, lifting my head so I would meet his eyes.

"Yvaine, Stella Meus, how could I not want you? You are my everything, I loved you for a long time before you were gone and I never stopped. You, even when you were young, weren't afraid of me and so gentle and kind." He smiled gently, pulling me towards him to sit in his lap and pressed a kiss to my temple. "I am yours, Yvaine, as you are mine. I would sooner die that not ever hold you or be touched by you again." His arms tightened around me and I shivered as he kissed down my neck, leaving little love bites along my throat. 

"I have something for you, I breathed and Az pulled back resting our foreheads together. I pulled him up and to the kitchen table sitting him down. I placed the velvet box in front of him and turned back to the fridge, pulling food and piling it onto the counter mindlessly throwing things into a pot. 

"I know you don't like gifts, but I knew to get you a knife was pointless since you only use one." I rambled on and tried to keep myself busy making food. "I saw it just outside the artist's quarter and I thought of you, of your shadows, and I thought it'd be a good mating gift." Az made no noise behind me and I opened my mouth to say something else but Azriel spoke first.

"I remember when Rhys told me what happened, I got back from my mission the day after your funeral..." His words were clipped but I felt the crushing sadness echo down the bond.

"Tell me... tell me everything," I asked quietly and I lost myself in his voice, taking in every sound he made.

"I knew something was wrong, I could feel it and my shadows were telling me and I didn't listen. When I got back I had an audience with your father but he was in a foul mood, I could tell it was something else and then Rhys came in. He'd been crying, your father apparently had gotten on him enough, and because it was just us, he didn't say anything. Rhys told me that they found your head in a box, that they'd burned you and your mother the day before I got back. They found your mother's body, wingless and bloody on the river bank but you weren't there just your blood but it was enough and with our head..." he paused almost choking on his words, and my body tensed. 

"I left, as soon as Rhys was sure I wouldn't kill anyone and by that I mean he beat me so hard I could barely walk," I hissed at his words but did not look back at him as he continued to speak.

"I was gone and I came here. A month went by and I don't remember a whole lot because I was drunk most of the time. When I finally went back Rhys was High Lord and Tamlin was the only one left in the entire Spring estate. When the war got worse, when Amarantha came, Rhys was captured and tortured. When the war was over Cassian, Rhysand, and I stayed at the house of wind, Mor right alongside us. Over that century we were fine, isolated but fine. I stayed away, drowned myself in sex and alcohol. None of them ever asked, Mor was the one I thought would but she and the others were always caught up on the fact that I could be pining for her because she chose Cassian when all I wanted from her was understanding. She'd lost people, had been hurt and I thought she would understand but maybe that was on m," his voice cracked and a fresh wave of tears dripped down my face.

"Maybe that was my fault because I don't speak, don't see the need in it when I'm better off alone. I couldn't get hurt again, couldn't lose anyone that precious again if I stayed away... Then Amarantha came back, he trapped us in Velaris after she'd trapped him under the mountain. That's one of the things I hated about him about you, it reminded me so much of you. Both of you were always so self-sacrificing, no matter what anyone else said if you thought you could save everyone by sacrificing yourself you did. I hated that about both of you because deep down I knew that was what had killed you, your desire and need to protect everyone but yourself." He hissed and I gripped the edge of the counter, trying not to slide to the floor in despair again.

"We were helpless for 50 years until that human girl set them all free, she sent my brother home and the freed the one female I never thought I would see again. She sent you home and when you walked into that kitchen I couldn't believe it, didn't want to believe it just in case you had changed, just in case you did not share the same feelings." I looked over my shoulder and his head was bowed, wet with tears and his body shook.

"You had changed, I could sense it. You were still Yvaine, the girl I'd taught to fly and the girl who loved to draw and fight, but I saw a darkness in your eyes a sadness that was too familiar. You'd suffered alone all these years and I should've found you, saved you from only the mother knows what horrors. When I held you in my arms and your eyes met mine, by the mother I swore I'd never let you go again. I was so happy, Yvaine, so happy when you touched me like you hadn't been gone at all like it'd only been a few hours and you'd come back after a day in the quarter. When I woke up this morning and you laid there, touching my face, touching my hands I never ever wanted to leave that moment. I could have died right there and been the happiest male in the world because for just one second I had the most beautiful, strong, amazing female in my arms not afraid of the darkness that lingered in me." A shudder rolled through my body and I turned off the burner and pulled strips of beep and vegetables onto a plate, setting them on the counter.

"If I was smart, if I was a good male, I would send you away to find happiness elsewhere because I am broken Yvaine, I am broken, and dark, and dangerous. You are whole and good, too good for a male like me but I am selfish, too selfish for my own good and I'll be damned if I let you go again." He said, his eyes finally lifting to meet mine. I set the plate in front of him and leaned against the counter.

"Eat it then, all of it," he didn't even reply before he started eating. His eyes never left me while he cleaned the plate and when he finished I sat in his lap, facing him and wrapping my arms around his neck.

"I am broken Az, I am broken and tired but healing. You are good enough, you are more than enough and I wondered if you were ever too good for me. You are strong and brave and beautiful, more than I could have ever asked for in a mate." I pressed our foreheads together and breathed out the three words he'd been waiting on, for what seemed like forever.

"I love you, Azriel, all of you." I breathed and he wrapped his arms around me, lifting me from my seat and walking towards the bedroom, our lips entwined. It felt so right... damn the world to hell, I would fight tooth and nail before ever being separated from my male again.


	9. Wrapped in Your Shadow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mature Content Ahead

Az laid me back on the mattress, his lips still locked with mine and his hands tangling in my hair. He pulled back, looming over me wings spread wide and raked his eyes down my body, his hazel eyes darkening with lust and hunger. With one snap both of our clothes had disappeared and I finally took in the beautiful body of my male.

The thick black swirls of his tattoos curved over his shoulders onto his chest, contoured every ripple of muscle as he kissed down my body and I gasped when he began to tease each nipple before continuing down, down, down. My fingers curled into the sheets and I couldn't silence the small moans that escaped my mouth as he dragged his tongue up the lips of my sex, tasting the desire my body had been producing since he'd brought me here. He slung my knees over his shoulders and it was all I could do to not trap him against me with my thighs, those glorious fingers of his torturing my core making me beg for more,

"Azriel," I breathed as his fingers pulsed, dragging back digging into my walls. I tightened around those fingers not wanting that feeling to ever leave but they did and my entire body flushed red as I watched them slip into his mouth, licking them clean before he began to assault the sensitive bud that was throbbing with need. 

We both let the chains on our powers drop and the room was flooded with our darkness, pulsing against one another before combining into endless shadow. This beautiful dark male was mine and he was laying his claim quite clearly. 

I whined when he pulled away, kissing back up my body and leaving small marks everywhere he kissed. Az captured my lips, his tongue slipping inside so I could taste myself all over him. Before I knew it he had grasped both of my wrists, holding them above my head as he ran his nose from the hollow of my throat to the base of my throat. He nipped at the sensitive skin gently, but hard enough that I knew I would have marks in the morning. A purr reverberated through my throat as I met those dark hazel eyes again.

"I don't think it's fair that only one of us has our wings out, Stella meus, he purred drawing his tongue along the skin of my throat and I shivered before summoning my wings that stretched out flat against the bed under me. A pleasing growl ripped through his mouth and he kept my hands in place while reaching to brush the inner arch of my wing. He stopped before making contact and I looked up with hazy eyes smiling lazily. I leaned up as far as I could trapping his lips with mine, drawing him closer and whispering please down the bond. His fingers made contact, though light, and I couldn't hold in the moan that slipped through my lips as he traced down the entire inner arch of the wing, so sensitive our Illyrian wings were. My muscles bunched and my toes curled at the sensual tingles that radiated through my whole body. 

"Play later, Umbra," I growled and he chuckled darkly bringing his loose hand to my neck squeezing lightly and licking his lips. I was getting impatient, my core pulsing with need and I felt the dampness between my legs grow. From the twitching of his nose, he knew how much I wanted him but he was dead set on denying me, pushing me to the edge that I was already dangerously close to falling off of. He rubbed his considerable length along my core and I inhaled sharply, taking in how large my male actually was. I needed him inside to sate the fire that burned deep in my being, sensing my urgency he smiled wickedly but the kindness he only rarely let shine through was there in this hazel eyes.

"I've waited for this a long time, Yvaine. I want to feel you and I want you to touch me, to memorize my body as fully and permanently as I memorize yours. I've never gone to bed with my wings unfurled before, not with any female and I never will for anyone but you. Omnia mihi es." He whispered, drawing closer to my lips, his eyes never leaving mine. 

"You felt so guilty for touching me without permission but I am yours, Yvaine, yours forever as you are mine. I'm selfish and even if you asked to leave I'm not sure if I'd be able to let you go." He nuzzled my neck and I wrapped my arms around his neck and drove them up into his hair.

"I want all of you, but I'm older than you, I don't want to hurt you so I'm not going to rush this-" I interrupted him with a low growl and I flipped him over so I sat straddling his hips, his length throbbing as badly as my own. I ran my fingers into his hair, pulling harshly attacking his lips and plunging my tongue into his mouth and we fought for dominance. He let me win, I could feel it and I wasn't complaining as I drew my hips back and forth against him, his hands grasping my hips tightly. I peppered his face and neck with kisses and small nips hard enough to leave my own mark.

"I might be a virgin, Azriel, but that doesn't mean I want you to treat me like I'm breakable like I'm a fragile doll." I purred against his skin and he shuddered beneath me. 

"I'm a big girl Az, and I want you to know how good you make me feel so do your mate a favor," I leaned down to his ear and let out a small breath,

"Ravish me, Umbra meus." Before I could make another move he was up from under me and shoving me into the mattress, my hips still high in the air. My wings draped across my shoulders, loosely but the muscles tensed as he ran a hand along the bone and whispered into my ear,

"As you wish, love," He growled grasping my hips and driving his length into me, for a moment I was breathless and I raggedly sucked in air as he retreated but there was no time for a reprieve as he drove into me again. He filled me to the brim and I gasped as he grasped a hold of my hair and dragged my head back our hips falling into a glorious rhythm. His free hand ran up the length of my body, grasping harshly at my swollen breasts, his other hand leaving my hair and holding my throat tightly. 

He kept his hand around my throat, wrapping his other arm around my waist to keep me in place as he peppered kisses down the edge of my throat. I felt his teeth scrape over the sensitive flesh of my shoulder and I felt my core tighten unbearably, my body instinctually knowing what he was doing. The moment his teeth broke through my skin I was a mess of nerves and heat, He ran over the edge with me and we found a stillness with his canines still in my neck. 

He drew back and licked over the permanent mark he'd left, I leaned against him fully as he drew us both down to the mattress turning me to face him. I tucked my wings in and he wrapped his own around us both, reveling in each other's presence.

"A little warning next time you want to bite me would be nice," I teased and nuzzled his neck where I would eventually leave my own mark before the night was done. Azriel laughed softly, tangling his hand in my hair and pressed a soft kiss to my lips, his tongue meeting my own, and this time I let him lead. He was sweet and too addicting, he pulled back resting his head on the mattress, meeting my gaze.

"I'm sorry, love. I hadn't planned it but I felt like I needed to, instinct took over." I grinned lazily and looked towards the bathroom.

"Oh, I'm not complaining just know you'll be wearing mine by dawn as well." He grinned and pulled me closer, nipping at the mark he'd lefts causing tingles to radiate out and down the rest of my body. I pulled away and pulled him towards the bathroom, an oversized room to anyone but the 'bath' was built to be more of a bathing pool and the magic of the cabin kept the water clean and hot whenever anyone was here. I led him down the steps into the water, relishing in how the heat relaxed my muscles. 

Az pulled me towards the wall and he sat on the edge, setting me on his lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck, running my fingers up into his hair before lifting myself up and bringing him back inside me. We stayed there for a moment before I began to rock my hips, and we fell into a slow steady rhythm, his breathing picking up until he had my back pressed against the wall of the bath and my legs lock around his hips as he drove into me. 

"To whatever end," he growled into my ear and I purred back my response before digging my teeth deep into the flesh of his shoulder and we rode that high until we threw ourselves off the edge and into oblivion.

~ * ~

Azriel had picked me up and returned us to bed hours ago, the magic of the cabin replacing the sheets. I'm not sure how long we stayed in that spot for a while reveling in our new scent and lazing touching one another, memorizing every inch of each other.

"I think I knew you were mine at our first Starfall," He whispered and I smiled at the memory. I was 65 by the time I'd bucked up the courage to ask him to escort me to the celebration. I'd been bundle of nerves and had tripped over my own feet in the middle of the training ring falling right into his arms, making the asking even harder.

"You were so young, and my brother's sister. By all rights, I should have left right there but I was selfish and I wanted whatever attention you would give me, even if it turned out you didn't really want me as a mate. You were too young for any bond to truly form anyways and I threw the thought away to stop myself from becoming attached to a female who was too good for me, too gentle, too kind" I frowned at his words and tightened my hold around him. 

"I could never explain the pull I felt towards you, Rhys was too thick in the head too see anything past the end of his nose. Cassien was suspicious and when I asked you Cass found me later, asking me why I'd asked you. He wanted to know if it was some childhood crush or something more, and I told him I didn't know why I just needed you with me. He was trying to protect both of us," Az nodded and hummed to himself, thinking.

"Cassien told me to be careful, that I got attached too easily and that you would no doubt be paired with another High Lord's son and I almost killed him for that. He knew, and he could see it that rat bastard. He acts like a complete numbskull but he's too smart for his own good." Az hissed and I chuckled softly, tracing the lines of his face. 

"He and the others were to fucking thick in the head to see that I was grieving when you died, I can't tell you how many times they thought I was actually going crazy. I would leave for weeks at a time, Mor always found me when I came home though and she would talk to me. She pulled me off the edge more than once right after you died. Cassien knew you were mine and that stupid man-whore thought I was pining after Mor," He growled and I shook my head and pressed a gentle kiss to his temple.

"Cass, he is really dumb but sometimes he sees into things. He was the reason you and I spent as much time together as we did before you left on that last mission. Father would have had my head if he'd known where I was sneaking off to but mother, I think mom knew before either of us did."I rolled onto my stomach, willing my wings away to give him more space and he laid one wing over me, moving to his stomach as well.

"I think they teased you about Mor so much because they wanted to see you happy again. Before I was born you had a crush on her, they knew that and maybe they thought they could salvage that for you even if it meant pushing a little too hard sometimes." I reached over and ran my fingers through his hair, pushing it away from his face.

"They won't do it anymore so I'm glad, I know Mor doesn't like me, and to be honest I'm not sure what I liked about her anymore." He mused and I huffed lightly, blowing a piece of hair from my eyes.

"Well that's good, or else I'd have to fight my cousin." I laughed lightly and Az leaned over to kiss me, pulling me against him, our legs tangling together before pulling back to rest my head on his arm.

"I love you, Azriel, all of you and I want you to know that I see all of you," I nuzzled into his chest, his arms wrapping tighter around me.

"You worried about not being enough but the male I see deserves to have the world laid at his feet, for all the hardships you faced and for the nightmares that haunt you. Azriel you are my friend in tough waters, my lover, my mate to whatever end." I whispered and I felt the tears from his eyes meld with my own.

"Yvaine, you are a crazy, beautiful, self-sacrificing bastard that I knelt before from the moment I held you in my arms on Starfall. If it is in my power you shall have the world and the star for which you are named. I'll love you, to whatever end and beyond." He squeezed me tightly and I finally succumbed to the darkness that pulled me firmly into unconsciousness, soothed by my mate's heartbeat and scent that surrounded me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN:
> 
> Okay, so what do you guys think? I'm sorry it took so long to write this chapter, I struggle sometimes to write the saucy scenes and I was reading Crescent city so... let's just say I was crying a lot and experiencing emotional and physical pain. Please please please let me know how you think I'm doing! I thrive on constructive criticism also let me know if you want to see anything specific in upcoming chapters! I will be following the flow of the book but if there's a specific chapter you want to keep or if you want POV changes let me know and I'll whip something up!
> 
> Omnia mihi es - You are my everything


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